Let's Stay Together

Creating a child is one of the most beautiful gifts given to men and women. But what happens when the love becomes lost between the parents? They become separated and this forces the child to be stuck in the middle of a broken home. Of course it is not the child’s fault for a bad breakup between its parents but how do they resolve this issue when they really want to settle down and start a different family each? Finding someone they love who loves them [and the child] back becomes limited simply because of the fact that they have a child in the picture now. Most people are extremely picky when it comes to dating; and one of the top things they probably have on their “DON’T” list is getting involved with someone who has a baby from a previous relationship. They would just prefer to start fresh and have their own kids, and their kids ONLY, with someone who does not have any children and is looking to do the same.

Another reason finding step-parents for a child might be challenging is because not only does the stepmom/stepdad have to accept the child, but the child has to accept and adapt to the stepmom/stepdad as well. Depending on how old the child is determines the difficulty because as they get older they have grown to be comfortable with their environment and surroundings which is being taken care of by their biological parents. In most cases of finding a “substitute” parent for a child is not that hard when it’s the woman looking for the man. Wednesday Martin explained in her article Stepmonster that research shows that stepchildren take more to their step-fathers rather than their stepmothers. They tend to look at the dads as another parent but don’t visualize the moms in that same light because of the way women act. Women can sometimes be “nasty, petty, and jealous” which can make it hard for the child to warm up to them.

Child being torn apart by her parents
        In other cases, children despise their parents for introducing them to stepparents. When children are too young to understand the situation of why their real parents became separated they begin to develop their own feelings from a scenario they conjured up about what’s going on. This can make them feel unloved and can cause them to become bitter at a young age. A forum from Nairaland shares different ideas from different people about why kids resent their parents in these situations. This can lead up to them not even wanting to accept a false parent in their lives. Because they now feel like since their parents aren’t together anymore that they don’t love them so they think it is impossible for someone else to love them.
        I know from personal experience that dealing with your parent(s) dating someone new can be hard to deal with. It can often feel as if they are trying to steal your parent away from you. When you’re older you feel as if they shouldn’t try to take on that “parent” role because it just wouldn’t work. In my opinion, it’s just best to wait until you’re absolutely ready to have kids and make sure that it’s with someone you can see yourself with for the rest of your life to avoid the outside drama of finding your child a “stepmonster”.